Complicated
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated, I see the way you're acting like somebody else, it's getting me frustrated
Yes, I listen to Avril Lavigne, hell I listen to alot of things. Things you wouldn't probably believe. But this entry, isn't about music. Nope, nope, nope... it's about none other than who, "him" who I have a crazy amount of love for.
he's hot then he's cold, he's yes then he's no, he's in then he's out, he's up then he's down...
That man has an immense amount of sorting out he needs to do, and I thought I was crazy, HA. He has problems I swear he does. I like to think he is menopausal, but then again he's only 35. So I chalk it up to a mid life crisis.
That man, I swear doesn't know what he wants sometimes. I most recently told him about my decision to move back to St. Thomas to get it together for a while. I swear he doesn't get me. He's since asked me if I was preggers.. um no boo boo.. this is the one time I pray to the heavens I'm not. Not that I don't want his child,or that he's not a good father, believe you me that he is, now is just NOT the time. I'm in no predicament to bring another life into this world; not emotionally, not financially, not mentally, nope not now.
He's asking when I intend to set a date.. Nope I'm not doing that either. We're no where near ready.I refuse to get married under these types of conditions. If we can't get it together now,how are we going to hack it then? I'll pass hung. If he's pulling the stops out to get me to stay, he's got to work a million times harder. We have our periods of not speaking. And right now, I'm not speaking. it's been days. I don't text, i don't email, I don't call. nothing. It's y turn, I gave him his now, I am having some ME TIME. I'm focusing my energy on other things , and I must say it's feeling great. I've had the most nonchalant disposition. I am neither here nor there with anything. It's safe to say that I'm exhausted. We've had a rough year, and it's my turn now for some space. I need to think some things through. Before I become an irrational, emotional thinker, I've stepped away from the emotional side of things. It's taking some sacrifice, because I now have put other needs on hold, but eh.. i'm guessing it's something that comes with the territory.
I can tell he's not to thrilled with the move, but he really has just 2 choices, to support it or to keep it moving. Selfish? Maybe a little, but at this point in time it's all about me doing what's best for me. with or without him. Do i love him? of course I do, sometimes loving somebody means doing the unthinkable.
This whole situation has been and still is complicated. I know I have my faults, we all do, I know i've said somethings out my mouth, but I say how I feel, and I've laid that out in the beginning. The difference between him and I is, I'm aware of and honest about my faults. He makes the simplest things the most complicated and can never admit when he's at fault, but I digress..
I'll quit rambling here... (for now)...
Yes, I listen to Avril Lavigne, hell I listen to alot of things. Things you wouldn't probably believe. But this entry, isn't about music. Nope, nope, nope... it's about none other than who, "him" who I have a crazy amount of love for.
he's hot then he's cold, he's yes then he's no, he's in then he's out, he's up then he's down...
That man has an immense amount of sorting out he needs to do, and I thought I was crazy, HA. He has problems I swear he does. I like to think he is menopausal, but then again he's only 35. So I chalk it up to a mid life crisis.
That man, I swear doesn't know what he wants sometimes. I most recently told him about my decision to move back to St. Thomas to get it together for a while. I swear he doesn't get me. He's since asked me if I was preggers.. um no boo boo.. this is the one time I pray to the heavens I'm not. Not that I don't want his child,or that he's not a good father, believe you me that he is, now is just NOT the time. I'm in no predicament to bring another life into this world; not emotionally, not financially, not mentally, nope not now.
He's asking when I intend to set a date.. Nope I'm not doing that either. We're no where near ready.I refuse to get married under these types of conditions. If we can't get it together now,how are we going to hack it then? I'll pass hung. If he's pulling the stops out to get me to stay, he's got to work a million times harder. We have our periods of not speaking. And right now, I'm not speaking. it's been days. I don't text, i don't email, I don't call. nothing. It's y turn, I gave him his now, I am having some ME TIME. I'm focusing my energy on other things , and I must say it's feeling great. I've had the most nonchalant disposition. I am neither here nor there with anything. It's safe to say that I'm exhausted. We've had a rough year, and it's my turn now for some space. I need to think some things through. Before I become an irrational, emotional thinker, I've stepped away from the emotional side of things. It's taking some sacrifice, because I now have put other needs on hold, but eh.. i'm guessing it's something that comes with the territory.
I can tell he's not to thrilled with the move, but he really has just 2 choices, to support it or to keep it moving. Selfish? Maybe a little, but at this point in time it's all about me doing what's best for me. with or without him. Do i love him? of course I do, sometimes loving somebody means doing the unthinkable.
This whole situation has been and still is complicated. I know I have my faults, we all do, I know i've said somethings out my mouth, but I say how I feel, and I've laid that out in the beginning. The difference between him and I is, I'm aware of and honest about my faults. He makes the simplest things the most complicated and can never admit when he's at fault, but I digress..
I'll quit rambling here... (for now)...
Total Comments 0
